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War Cabinet story continues[message #333269] Thu, 29 May 2014 11:56 Go to next message
MarutiaOrtia

 
Messages:53
Registered:April 2014
Location: Sofia, Bulgaria
The Story continues on 1st of June.
Part 2: 35 years later.
Can you guess what happened next at http://www.warcabinet.net/story/
Would you share what is your story?

[Updated on: Tue, 01 July 2014 15:40] by Moderator

Re: War Cabinet story continues[message #333274] Thu, 29 May 2014 12:56 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Shanga

 
Messages:3507
Registered:January 2000
Location: Danubia
Honestly it all sounds like a bad B-movie Stallone would be glad to play in if he wasn't an old fart. The whole thing with "the General" that finds you and educates you to be "the next General" sounds bad, really bad. And either the story won't be noticed (and that's good) or it will kill the game.

This whole medieval fairy tale doesn't really fit a war game. And houses thing... House of Green? House of Orange? Is this Space Hulk or Dune? Is it C&C or Company of Heroes? The whole story has so many random elements, from random genres that I am kinda confused where to put WC (btw that's a bad abbreviation too).

It would be a pity to give the trolls so much material to chew when you can fix it with a pen and paper. And stay away from cliches like "the orphan that becomes a hero". Or "House vs House fight for honor". Graphics point to a conflict in the former USSR, work with that. In Chechnya or Afghanistan (i'd skip this one, too much Rambo shit) there are clans/families/military factions that fight each other. Not "houses". There are no "good Generals" and "bad Generals". There are Generals you fight for and generals you fight against. And you need to explain why. Wars aren't fought between good and evil. Wars are either for revenge (you killed mine, I will kill yours) or, most of the times, for resources (I am stronger than you so I'll take your shit).

So if I was to sketch at least a believable B-movie script, I'd write it like this (still using your key elements):

Quote:
"You're an orphan who lost his home and family in the bloody civil war that ravaged Marutia republic for years. Left with nothing to hope for you went into hiding together with a small band of your villagers. Death was nothing to scare you. And you and your rebels soon became very good at delivering it.

During an escort mission the convoy of a Colonel Arda was almost destroyed. You and your men pushed back the attackers, found the almost dead Colonel and brought him back to life. You hoped his faction would pay you a good ransom. While in your care you discovered one of the last great men of Marutia, a man for whom country and honor still meant something. You two became close friends. He was the father you lost, you were the son he never had. Instead of selling him for ransom, when his rescuers arrived, you decided to join their cause and became a soldier.

Raising in ranks in the Marutian army was a fast path, since death struck fast, both those at bottom and those up-high. Under the Colonel's wing, now the Green's Army chief, you soon rose to the position of lieutenant and got your first command, at a small base in the mountains.

History of Marutia is filled with bloodshed and death. After a military coup in the 90s, two army factions have been disputing the country for decades. The forces loyal to the former ruler, known as Green Guard, have been holding out in a mountain stronghold but now the military junta in power are preparing a major onslaught. The junta army is known as "Oranges", after their leader, Sheik Oran, a man with a vicious taste for using Agent Orange to "persuade" civilians. Including your family.

Now the Oranges have almost the entire country under control. And they want the eliminate the last resistance, the Colonel's stronghold. Your base is right into their path to absolute victory. Will you be able to hold them long enough for Green Army to organize a counter-attack? Will you live to see the day when you return the favor to Sheik Oran? Prepare for the fight of your life..."


Still a B-movie script, but at least every piece of the story makes sense. What, when, why, how. Before I play your game I need to believe the story. Make me believe it. Make Stallone cry he didn't get to play it.

Ah yes.. and I want my name in pink neon on the Credits in exchange. :placard: :swordfight:

[Updated on: Thu, 29 May 2014 14:18] by Moderator



Re: War Cabinet story continues[message #333279] Thu, 29 May 2014 14:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NikiAlex

 
Messages:42
Registered:December 2013
Location: Bulgaria
Shanga, you made some very good comments and even put a short story!
I also would like to share some thought about this.
The general and inheriting his traditions and carrier
Re: War Cabinet story continues[message #333280] Thu, 29 May 2014 14:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Shanga

 
Messages:3507
Registered:January 2000
Location: Danubia
I get you, but mixing feudal elements with modern warfare would only work if your game was some sort of steampunk. So far I haven't gotten that impression from the previews.

Maybe it's too early to see where you going but for me the story and the graphics are going in two different directions.



Re: War Cabinet story continues[message #333436] Tue, 03 June 2014 14:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NikiAlex

 
Messages:42
Registered:December 2013
Location: Bulgaria
..And second part has been released.
I am wondering why Stallone is still waiting and not applying for the main role.
We could provide him machine gun, grenade launcher with 5 boxes of ammo and of course a gunship helicopter to target practices.
Cool
Re: War Cabinet story continues[message #333878] Tue, 24 June 2014 13:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
MarutiaOrtia

 
Messages:53
Registered:April 2014
Location: Sofia, Bulgaria
War Cabinet game first project review made by one of the Chief Engineers and core fans - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRVejOFXD0Q

Enjoy! Please share your thoughts and comments.

[Updated on: Tue, 24 June 2014 14:03] by Moderator

Re: War Cabinet story continues[message #333986] Wed, 02 July 2014 09:20 Go to previous message
MarutiaOrtia

 
Messages:53
Registered:April 2014
Location: Sofia, Bulgaria
War Cabinet story continues 23 Days Later
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