Home » SIRTECH CLASSICS » Jagged Alliance 2 » Favourite Mercs & NPCs » Funniest Quotes ?
Funniest Quotes ?[message #45951] Mon, 04 March 2002 21:22 Go to next message
Magraev

 
Messages:9
Registered:February 2002
Location: Denmark
In my current game I met Hamous south of Drassen and decided to take him with me to Cambria before I canned him. On the way we were ambushed by blodcats - Hamous saw one and yelled "Dog!". I laughed so hard I almost fell of my chair.

What are your favorite funny quotes ??
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45952] Tue, 05 March 2002 13:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
T.I.M.

 
Messages:19
Registered:February 2002
I can't remember most of the qoutes, but one good one is IMP voice 3 when a head blows up:
"Jesus, now that blows my mind. Guess that makes two of us!"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45953] Tue, 05 March 2002 15:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
jason

 
Messages:16
Registered:March 2002
Location: USA
i like voice 2 of imp merc, when someones head is splatted he says (laughing)"someone took a little too much off the top" thats morbid humor hahahaha. another one is from Magic if you've ever played sci-fi mode when you enter a mine taken over by the creatures, Magic will say something like "Reminds me of the way my sisters room smelled" or something to that effect. thats funny too!

Big guns = Big smiles

[ 05 March 2002: Message edited by: undulatinggumby ]
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45954] Tue, 05 March 2002 22:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
TrailBlazer

 
Messages:511
Registered:September 2001
Location: Athens, Greece

I like Voice 2 too. When my IMP mertc encountered the bugs he kept calling them suchi ( I don't thing I wrote that correctly... ) but in a very serious way so it was cool to hear "suchi bang bang bang bang suchi bang bang bang( :steyr : ) booooom ( :ak47 : )"

[ 05 March 2002: Message edited by: TrailBlazer ]
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45955] Wed, 06 March 2002 00:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
themglman

 
Messages:74
Registered:October 2001
Location: Texas
A good one :

Gus after he aces Deidranna :

" Serpent's head Woodman , the bitch is served "
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45956] Thu, 07 March 2002 10:28 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Squinky

 
Messages:7
Registered:February 2001
Location: California
Not verbatim.

Buzz, after wasting Mike: "I rather have blown away Lynx, but Mike makes a decent second choice."

Buzz: "I'm fine, just don't piss me off!"

Buzz: "I don't carry it around just to look good, jackass"

Gumpy: When seeing a BFS, [Twilight zone] "Do do do do do do do do"

Gumpy, when out of breath, says something about slowing down, then "I tried smoking, you know."

Gumpy: when seeing more bad guys "Warning Will Robinson!"

Gumpy: "Just call me Harry. Dirty Harry."

Igor: "Game over, man!"

Igor: "Rock and roll!"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45957] Wed, 13 March 2002 21:00 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Mantis

 
Messages:18
Registered:October 2001
Location: Straya, Melb
Gumpy on entering a Crepitus infected mine
"This is the same impending sense of doom I got watching the first two Alien movies, but not the last one, that sucked."
Mad Dog after seeung a coprse
"I've got brain in my mouth, hey taste kinda sweet."
Meltdown after seeing a corpse
"...Hey when's lunch?"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45958] Wed, 13 March 2002 21:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Roadkill

 
Messages:162
Registered:May 2001
Location: Lords of the Bytes
Stephen's "I'm being blitzed" when under heavy fire always cracks me up for some reason.
And don't forget "Thanksgiving's here. Time to carve some turkeys" from Razor.
One of the best i heard from Haywire, when seeing bloodcats: Woah. Bigass cat!
Actually most mercs have funny quotes when meeting the cats
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45959] Thu, 14 March 2002 04:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Shanga

 
Messages:3528
Registered:January 2000
Location: Danubia
Maddog after watching Fox die:
"Oh, Foxy, Foxy, Foxy... Errr... Boss, can we put her on ice?"


Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45960] Fri, 15 March 2002 08:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
heluvit

 
Messages:7
Registered:February 2002
Location: Ont.Canada
Gasket -- "I think I pissed my pants."
I like that one the best

The male voice 3 IMP when he sees the cats
"Pussy!"


I hate being called Woody or Woodro or Woodman by Gus. I muted him the first time I ever used him. Then I just learned to ignore it.

I can handle being called Hamdog. But not Woody. Stogie's pretty cool.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45961] Fri, 15 March 2002 11:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Sarge McSarge

 
Messages:51
Registered:February 2000
Location: Queenstown, New Zealand

From Gasket when Vicky dies.
"Vicky gives the best break jobs"
Sarge
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45962] Fri, 15 March 2002 20:04 Go to previous messageGo to next message
jason

 
Messages:16
Registered:March 2002
Location: USA
ok i have another one too fox after beating the sector "ya we did em all! i like that" you have to admit that's funny too.

Big guns = Big smiles
if you're happy and you know it kick some a*s ......
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45963] Fri, 15 March 2002 22:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
brasil_kk
Messages:3
Registered:March 2002
I like Steroid's quote "Dammit to hell"
He always read this quote in a very funny way. Like a big kid with temper on his homework!


Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45964] Sat, 16 March 2002 11:20 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Sarge McSarge

 
Messages:51
Registered:February 2000
Location: Queenstown, New Zealand

Bubba with bloodcats. "Alabama coon cat" Its all in the way he stutters.

Sarge
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45965] Sat, 16 March 2002 12:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
heluvit

 
Messages:7
Registered:February 2002
Location: Ont.Canada
There's one kinda freeky quote from Fidel. If you fire him or don't renue his contract he says something like..
"Maybe fidel not go.Maybe I stay here and shoot you."

But Trevors comment on Fidel is good...
"Fidel doesn't have the brains to give himself a headache."

I know a few people like that.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45966] Tue, 19 March 2002 05:56 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Sweeper

 
Messages:101
Registered:March 2002
Location: Namsos, Tr
HEHEHHE how about hitmans quate when he tries to fire a broken gun:
"warranty must have expired on this one, thats when they break"
Ice when you have bad equipment: "what kind of Rinky-Dinky equiqment is this? somethin from a blue light special?"
Also Reapers quote when you hire him: I accept the contract with the stipulation that once it has expired or terminated all paper work is given to me to be destroyed, there's to be no evidence of this engagement"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45967] Wed, 20 March 2002 15:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Snake

 
Messages:47
Registered:February 2000
Location: PA, USA
Mike comments are hilarious too...
Wolf - Holy slimeballs! It's Mike!
Fox (after snuffing him) - I dated Mike once. He had about as much life in him then as he does now.
Like endgame comments, I often save/load and let each merc on my team wax Mike just to hear their commentary.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45968] Wed, 20 March 2002 20:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Mantis

 
Messages:18
Registered:October 2001
Location: Straya, Melb
Meltdown:
Its Mikey boy, This will be a piece of cake.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45969] Fri, 22 March 2002 05:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Squinky

 
Messages:7
Registered:February 2001
Location: California
Gumpy when more Crepetii are lurking around:
"I have the same feeling of impending doom that I got from watching the first two Alien movies. But not the third one. it sucked."

When he sees a Crepitus: "Wow, that is awesome! I wonder how much Speilburg would pay for its DNA."

When he kills the queen bitch: "I did it! I'm gonna sell the movie rights and make a goddamn fortune!"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45970] Fri, 22 March 2002 15:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Dog
Messages:3
Registered:March 2002
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
Steroid, when a team member gets killed:
"god bless his soul, god bless all our souls (arse holes)" hee hee.....
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45971] Sat, 23 March 2002 05:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Chris Camfield

 
Messages:68
Registered:February 2000
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Quote:
Originally posted by Dog:
Steroid, when a team member gets killed:
"god bless his soul, god bless all our souls (arse holes)" hee hee.....


Steroid (Gontarski): "When in doubt, think... what would Gontarski do here?" SOOOO stupid...
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45972] Sat, 23 March 2002 09:26 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Floyd
Messages:1
Registered:February 2002
Location: Canada
One of my favorits is from Ivan when you first meet Miguel: He spouts something in Russian then says "Don't worry I am highly trained killer"

Not really funny by itself but it was soooo like Ivan it struck me as funny.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45973] Sun, 24 March 2002 10:00 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Alpha_1

 
Messages:10
Registered:June 2001
Location: uk
Scope when low in morale - "I should be at home giving the children their tea".
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45974] Sun, 24 March 2002 12:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
sven10077
Messages:4
Registered:May 2001
Quote:
Originally posted by Alpha_1:
Scope when low in morale - "I should be at home giving the children their tea".


andy is that you??
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45975] Mon, 25 March 2002 02:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
brasil_kk
Messages:3
Registered:March 2002
When Grizzly saw a Crepitus, he said something like "who invited my mother-in-law here?"
I laughed so hard and fell on the floor, hehehehhehe....
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45976] Wed, 03 April 2002 23:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JURAJURA

 
Messages:64
Registered:March 2002
Location: GODING - MORAVIA - Heart ...
I think the best speeches can be seen in running into evil guy such es Pablo, General, Calvin etc.

Fidel: Dere be peoples who need bullet in head!
Fox: What a slimball
Hamous: Me not like dis people
Haywire: I cant belive that jugg-off
Lynx: What a pile of human garbage
Maddog out of breath: Next time I kill someone, I take their lungs
Maddog to Gabby: I dont get it. Why is he friendly? Whats his problem?
Maddog with crap: If it wasnt already broken, id broke that damn thing!
Numb: What a barmy arsehole

AND FINALY RAZOR!!!!!
And the pansyasses ran away to warn their friends. Good. They`ll all be freakin nervous by that time we get there.
Its all right I guess. Woulda like one o them new hi-tech fancy blades though.
Im sick of that yellowbelly. Probably doesnt even kow how to skin a baby!

And many otherz ;]]
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45977] Thu, 04 April 2002 10:39 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Col Leo Kelly

 
Messages:39
Registered:August 2001
Location: Wherever AIM sends me
When Gasket sees the bugs:

"That kinda reminds of the time when I ate some pumpkin seeds and they had to take out part of my colon, that's what it looked like. I think"

Followed up when he sees the next one:

"Another chunk of creeping colon".
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45978] Sat, 06 April 2002 23:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Insane
Messages:2
Registered:April 2002
Not so funny as it made me smile when i heard it; IMP voice one, when you blow a guys head off: "Geez, talk about losing face"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45979] Sun, 07 April 2002 20:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
cougar

 
Messages:256
Registered:March 2000
for some good qoutes press the button with the lips and click on the merc. most of the mercs has two different comments
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45980] Mon, 08 April 2002 23:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JURAJURA

 
Messages:64
Registered:March 2002
Location: GODING - MORAVIA - Heart ...
RAZOR again - for huge pack of Bloodcatz:
Come to pappa!
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45981] Fri, 19 April 2002 11:00 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Damesh

 
Messages:47
Registered:January 2001
Location: Florida
You know, this is another one of those things that make this game so amazing. I love those comments and was nice to be reminded of them and laugh at them again.

There are so many different layers to this game; the speech comments, the different merc movements (the first time I saw Steriod go into his muscle posing was hilarious), the different personalities, the ability to stand, run, crouch, crawl times 2 (regular and stealth), the ability to improve stats, train militia, the strategic level, the different combat tactics you can use, the ability to throw, have hand to hand, martial arts, etc. etc. etc.

Man, there is so much in this little game and I don't think most companies out there with their high end processing and 3D wizbang graphics match up game playwise even today.

Like I said, amazing game!
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45982] Fri, 19 April 2002 17:23 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JURAJURA

 
Messages:64
Registered:March 2002
Location: GODING - MORAVIA - Heart ...
Damesh

You are absolutely right - thats one of the best games that was ever done....

JA2 and Falloutz
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45983] Sat, 20 April 2002 06:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Intruder
Messages:1
Registered:April 2002
Location: Germany
Hey, what does Conrad say when he sees a bloodcat?

In the german version he says: Oh, a large Kotek.

You have to know that "Kotek" isn't a german word, but does he say this in the us version too?
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45984] Sat, 20 April 2002 07:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Khaine

 
Messages:65
Registered:July 2001
Location: Bergen, Hordaland, Norway
In the US version he says: "A blooodcat!" (not really that many o's but it sounds like it).

Exactly what does he say in the german version? "Oh, ein grosses Kotek" (or something)? If so, this doesn't strike me as a very good translation.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45985] Tue, 23 April 2002 00:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JURAJURA

 
Messages:64
Registered:March 2002
Location: GODING - MORAVIA - Heart ...
Ad Conrad - in our country its might be said "kotchka" but i think that reply lookz like from polish - eg. close relation between east germany and poland ;]]]
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45986] Tue, 23 April 2002 19:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Tyco

 
Messages:189
Registered:September 2001
Location: Be'er Sheva, Israel
Conrads reaction when seeing a bug is so typical to him I laughed my head off.
"Whats this? Is this a joke?! Wait! Do not worry. I'll take charge of situation."
May not be exactly what he says but its the "ill take charge" that cracked me up. What a Conrad that Conrad is...
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45987] Wed, 24 April 2002 04:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
DR J

 
Messages:37
Registered:April 2002
Location: Amarillo, TX
Fox,
When I had her pick up some cool equipment.

"Now that was worth bending over for."

My girlfriend nearly rolled off the bed laughing.

What maniacs dreamed up these lines anyway.
Ive already turned a buddy on to this game (UB). he works at a software store, found it in the discard bin. He loves it too!!!
People just dont know what they been missin.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45988] Wed, 24 April 2002 11:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
gmonk

 
Messages:646
Registered:April 2002
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Igor says something like:
"Ah, here it says on label ... crap."
(When trying to use wirecutters with only 5% durability left.)

A lot of Fox's quotes are amusing. Someone already psoted about Hamous saying "Dog!" when spotting bloodcats, I've been playing a while now, but I only heard this the other day. I nearly wet myself laughing.

I dont' think anyone has mentioned Flo, when she gets a kill, she sometimes says: "Mon Dieu, that was better than an orgasme!"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45989] Wed, 24 April 2002 23:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Yoda

 
Messages:9
Registered:July 2001
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Aust...
One of the things that keeps this game fresh is the quotes. I often laugh out loud when some people say their lines. Well worth hiring the scrubs just to hear their lines especially Gumpy:
"I can't go on without sleep. I'm not a robot you know."
"Last one down. That was better than Reservoir Dogs man."
"Warning, warning, Will Robinson."
or
"They're here!"

Has anyone heard Meltdowns victory speech? So good it should be the motto for the entire game.

"So I hope you all learned something from this. You can fix anything with a gun. The bigger the gun, the faster things get resolved. You'd think they would teach that at school."
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #45990] Thu, 25 April 2002 22:25 Go to previous messageGo to previous message
JURAJURA

 
Messages:64
Registered:March 2002
Location: GODING - MORAVIA - Heart ...
Yoda
I have never hired her - such a stupid accent ;[[ and face blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
But this speech lookz trully
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