Home » SIRTECH CLASSICS » Jagged Alliance 2 » Favourite Mercs & NPCs » Funniest Quotes ?
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46151] Thu, 23 October 2003 11:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Dark Lord

 
Messages:5
Registered:March 2001
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Aust...
I just heard this one from Steroid. I was disarming an Electric Trap that Conrad detected.

"Stop! A large Boob Trap is present!"

I was pissing myself laughing for hours... Wink
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46152] Fri, 24 October 2003 04:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
General Disorder
Messages:1
Registered:October 2003
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Quote:
Originally posted by Magraev:
Playing a game with Blood now, and he's quite cool.

"I wasn't worried right...right" when shot at.

"Jalinqua" when killing a guy. Sounds good but what is that word, and how's it spelled?

Actually Magraev, Blodd says "Jellydog", which IMHO is dang near as annoying as "Woody" or "Hamdog"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46153] Fri, 24 October 2003 13:55 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Lex

 
Messages:9
Registered:October 2003
I like Fidel's from the A.I.M. site if he's there:

Hello. Fidel is in appliance.

When he's not:
How dis thing work? Fidel not here right now...ok Fidel here now, but not be here when u get machine. When u not get machine, u get Fidel. Fidel does know this. Fidel likes to kill and Fidel likes MONEY!

Also Malice's:
Hello dere. Single, white, French Canadian guy looking for married, Black, Canadian girl dat, uh, oh, uh, bad message. Leave me something, I get back with u.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46154] Sun, 26 October 2003 06:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
givemeabuzz

 
Messages:38
Registered:March 2003
Location: California
I'm not sure if these have been said, but I like Malice in the creature lair says something about how he'd like to see a bibette and "I love killing those things". Malice's answering machine is hilarious, it's like one of those personal ads.
As annoying as he may be, Stephen's "super groovy" is funny to.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46155] Tue, 04 November 2003 17:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marekzgdanska

 
Messages:9
Registered:November 2003
Location: New York, NY
Malice, after the kill: "After dat, I need a cigarette."

Malice out of ammo: "My gun, she hungry!"

Malice when opponents still left: "Dis be like hide and search eh? Just with the guns... Don't you worry, la Malice will get'em."
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46156] Sun, 14 December 2003 18:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Anonymous Alcoholic
Messages:4
Registered:December 2003
Location: Finland

Steroid to Miguel:

"Miguel, I`m the man, these are other people. I make her surrender to me in many ways."

When learning:

"At this rate, I soon be perfect"

Random:

"I think russia like my mother, both could die, I would not care"

Kills enemy:

"Another falls before me!"

Actually everything Steroids says is funny in stupid way. Very Happy
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46157] Tue, 16 December 2003 19:38 Go to previous messageGo to next message
aussie_gunner
Messages:2
Registered:December 2003
I absolutley love Haywire's comment upon running out of ammunition;

"my guns feeling light!"

Makes me piss myself laughing every time :biglaugh:
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46158] Tue, 16 December 2003 22:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Jogge

 
Messages:29
Registered:October 2003
Location: Sweden
Barry Unger "Gun is dependable. I am very satisfied with gun."

Why? Because Barry said this the moment after he managed to deliver a -100hp headshot (with splatter) to an unfortunate redshirt. :pitchfork:

J - am I evil?
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46159] Wed, 17 December 2003 03:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Aecho

 
Messages:267
Registered:August 2003
Location: The Netherlands, Europe
Conrad when critically wounded in the midst of battle:

"Drop everything, i am in need of medical attention"

The ego of the guy, amazing Very Happy
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46160] Wed, 17 December 2003 04:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Shifty Powers

 
Messages:5
Registered:August 2003
Location: North of the 49th Paralle...
I just heard this one from Meltdown after hiring Flo and placing her in Meltdown's squad,

"Flo ain't fit to wipe my ass!"

Hilarious
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46161] Sat, 20 December 2003 09:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
trevorColby

 
Messages:26
Registered:August 2003
Wolf just killed Mike last night, with two C-7 bursts of .223 armor piercing ammo to the chest...

"I gotta have AIM put that in my bio!"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46162] Sat, 24 January 2004 11:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Abiri

 
Messages:7
Registered:January 2004
Location: USA
Father John Walker, when he says..

"But i've said too much, and haven't had enough to drink"

Or here is another of his..

"She's an evil woman that Queen Diedranna. A sure fired candidate for Hell"

I also like this quote of his..


"There's still plenty of good intentioned souls in the world"

I keep wondering just who the hell he is talking about when he says that? He must be delusional, drinking will do that to a person
i hear tell.


:diabolical:


Abiri
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46163] Sat, 24 January 2004 11:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Abiri

 
Messages:7
Registered:January 2004
Location: USA
Quote:
Originally posted by Abiri:
Father John Walker, when he says..

"There's still plenty of good intentioned souls in the world"

I keep wondering just who the hell he is talking about when he says that? He must be delusional, drinking will do that to a person
i hear tell.

Abiri
Nothing is intentional, everything is applicable. That's what i meant by the statement above, in case anybody was wondering about it.

Wink

Abiri
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46164] Sat, 24 January 2004 12:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Rokkr

 
Messages:50
Registered:December 2003
Location: USA
I can't believe in 5 pages, no one's mentioned these..

Razor when bleeding..."I'm bleeding faster than I can lick it up!"

Razor: "Can't think of a better job. Blood lust and a steady paycheck."

And my favorite..

Tex: "What woman doing with gun? Cleaning it maybe?"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46165] Sat, 24 January 2004 13:26 Go to previous messageGo to next message
DopE

 
Messages:22
Registered:December 2003
Location: Australia, Brisbane
Quote:
Originally posted by trevorColby:
Wolf just killed Mike last night, with two C-7 bursts of .223 armor piercing ammo to the chest...

"I gotta have AIM put that in my bio!"
What are other things that mercs say when they kill mike. Ive always wanted to know
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46166] Sat, 24 January 2004 13:53 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Abiri

 
Messages:7
Registered:January 2004
Location: USA
Quote:
Originally posted by Rokkr:
I can't believe in 5 pages, no one's mentioned these..

Razor when bleeding..."I'm bleeding faster than I can lick it up!"

Razor: "Can't think of a better job. Blood lust and a steady paycheck."

And my favorite..

Tex: "What woman doing with gun? Cleaning it maybe?"
I only hire M.E.R.C. employee's as extra's when
there are not enough locals to do the job. I will
admit tho, that their stats will fool ya. I may
decide to put Razor and Haywire to the test after
hearing people talk.

:bluesuspect:
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46167] Sat, 24 January 2004 18:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
George13
Messages:1
Registered:January 2004
My favorete quote is when Dimitri finds a dead body he'll say "Most Colorful"

Another one whould be when he arives in SAN MONA he said "...they do things here that my mother spanked me for" lol funny Dimitri,he is "to me" the greatest merc. on the team.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46168] Sun, 01 February 2004 16:44 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Nevnix
Messages:3
Registered:January 2004
Hey there, I'm new here. Anyway, what Steroid says when his contract is almost up is pretty funny:

"My contract is, ummm, up yours for renewal if you like job I do for you."

I dunno, I like the way he says "up yours for renewal".
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46169] Sun, 01 February 2004 19:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
T.I.M.

 
Messages:19
Registered:February 2002
Reds "Better not be fakin it!" is not desperately funny by itself, but when he said it immediately after getting a solid head pop it cracked me up.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46170] Wed, 24 March 2004 01:53 Go to previous messageGo to next message
LlamaGod

 
Messages:6
Registered:March 2004
Location: Yggdrassil
Is there a tool that lets you extract the sounds?

One funny moment for me, was with IMP voice 3.

An enemy barely hit him and he did he "Yeah, that could of been bad but I got me some kickass karma", right before he said 'kickass' he got hit by another shot and killed.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46171] Wed, 24 March 2004 02:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Jogge

 
Messages:29
Registered:October 2003
Location: Sweden
Female IMP voice 3 has some good lines. My favourite one is heard when spotting a bloodcat: "Holy litterbox!".

J - back to UC :rifle:
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46172] Wed, 24 March 2004 05:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
korr23

 
Messages:13
Registered:March 2004
Location: Poland
Not mostly funny but v. cool - Hitman when exploding someone's head:
"You ain't been in combat ace till you pullin out an eyeball outta your pocket".
I especially like when he calls me ace.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46173] Wed, 14 April 2004 17:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
DaCheetah

 
Messages:78
Registered:March 2004
Location: New Mexico... Cleaner Tha...

Damn, 5 pages and NOBODY said Grizzly's best: "It's all in how you pull the trigger."

That one and Wolf's "Firepower. The difference between life and death."

And anything that comes out of fox's mouth
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46174] Tue, 20 April 2004 11:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Snicker

 
Messages:71
Registered:November 2002
Location: Canada
I gotta say I also like Elliot. He's just so...STUPID.

D: AARG! They're right in my own back yard! Maybe I should invite them over for a barbeque! (ad libbing a bit here)
E: Should I advance an invitation, my queen?
*KAPOW!*

Elliot always survives my attacks.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46175] Wed, 21 April 2004 18:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
AZAZEL

 
Messages:753
Registered:February 2004
Maddog when Fox dies:
_-...Oh, Foxy, Foxy, Foxy...Euh, what's the chance of putting her on ice?

Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46176] Sat, 01 May 2004 13:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
statsman17
Messages:1
Registered:April 2004
Location: New Zealand
I advise you all to take Dmitri to the junkyard in Estoni.

He tells you how one time he found a balloon here - AND IT WAS STILL IN THE PACKET!! he just sounds so funny, like a little kid.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46177] Sun, 30 May 2004 13:47 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Zodiac
Messages:2
Registered:May 2003
Location: Saskatoon, the intragalac...

I forget the line, but I always have loved the comment Reaper makes whenever he makes a really gory head shot. That man is so sick, yet so philosophical. I love him.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46178] Tue, 08 June 2004 18:47 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hoplite
Messages:4
Registered:November 2003
Location: WA, USA (originally Nethe...
Quote:
Originally posted by Dark Lord:
I just heard this one from Steroid. I was disarming an Electric Trap that Conrad detected.

"Stop! A large Boob Trap is present!"
Between that and his cry of "All evil has been lifted and separated!" (which is a paraphrasal of an old Maidenform brassiere advert, or so my wife tells me) when the sector has been cleared, I'd say that Mr. Gontarski has some serious mammarial fixation issues.

One of my favourites has got be Buns upon sighting a bloodcat: "Nice nails!"

And when my wife arrived home one day from a business trip to Germany and announced in her best Grunty impersonation "Ja, I am here now," I just rolled off my chair laughing.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46179] Wed, 09 June 2004 09:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Sarge McSarge

 
Messages:51
Registered:February 2000
Location: Queenstown, New Zealand

Razor or maybe it was Haywire when killing an enemy who dropped something "Batta boom batta bing whats that thing" The way the two quotes rhymed just cracked me up.

Sarge
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46180] Wed, 09 June 2004 09:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Rude Dog

 
Messages:468
Registered:March 2001
Location: Chasing Pussy
GAsket remarks at one point:
"I just pissed my pants!"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46181] Mon, 14 June 2004 18:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
AZAZEL

 
Messages:753
Registered:February 2004
MAGIC in Grumm, surrounded "just" by 6 redshirts,already wounded:
"This is where I'm at my best!"
Guess he means getting the hell out of there,with that 99 agility...
What do you think?

Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46182] Tue, 15 June 2004 05:38 Go to previous messageGo to next message
DNA from the Lowlands

 
Messages:339
Registered:July 2003
I love that thing Flo says when Biff bites it, "surely [...] out of respect for Biff"

-Respect for Biff, like Cartman: "Respect my !@#$ authority!!!"

Just seconds after that she'll drop the "bathtub/sipping champagne"-compliant again, which destroyes the whole thing.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46183] Tue, 15 June 2004 12:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yellow

 
Messages:11
Registered:June 2004
Some of the lines I like are:

Magic, upon killing the queen "the bitch is dead"

Maddog, upon finding Joey "I bet he thinks this is funny. I will pull his cheeks one foot from his face. Then we'll see if he laughs"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46184] Tue, 15 June 2004 19:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Cayenne

 
Messages:10
Registered:July 2003
Location: Vilnius, Lithuania

my fav quote:

Blood, after shot to head when head blows: "Nothing but a hamburger left of that guy"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46185] Wed, 16 June 2004 04:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Nevnix
Messages:3
Registered:January 2004
Gasket, when he spots a Bloodcat: "What luck! A big squirrel with plenty of attitude!"

Haywire, after exploding someone's head: "Oh, that is wicked! I wonder if you have time to think, 'ouch'."

I think it's Cougar, when he notices that a shipment has been stolen from: "The volume of air in this crate is somewhat higher than I anticipated." (Not verbatim)

EDIT! Just ran into the Crepitus on my current game, so I cleaned up Malice's quote: "I knew a dancer who had something like that. Mind you, they were smaller. Bien, they were a lot smaller than that, these you could break with your finger."

For that matter, everything Cougar and Malice say are funny just because of the way they say it.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46186] Wed, 16 June 2004 23:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
dzeller

 
Messages:91
Registered:February 2003
Location: USA
Quote:
Originally posted by yellow:
Magic, upon killing the queen "the bitch is dead"
Are you sure? I thought it was Grizzly saying this.

Just asking because I used this quote as the last words of my war story (see my signature) and you make me wonder if I made a mistake.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46187] Thu, 17 June 2004 09:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yellow

 
Messages:11
Registered:June 2004
Quote:
Originally posted by dzeller:
Quote:
Originally posted by yellow:
Magic, upon killing the queen "the bitch is dead"
Are you sure? I thought it was Grizzly saying this.

Just asking because I used this quote as the last words of my war story (see my signature) and you make me wonder if I made a mistake.
I just looked it up in the .slf and they both say it. Magic says "the bitch is dead". Grizzly says "ding dong, the bitch is dead".
:axe:
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46188] Fri, 18 June 2004 19:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
dzeller

 
Messages:91
Registered:February 2003
Location: USA
Quote:
Originally posted by yellow:
I just looked it up in the .slf and they both say it. Magic says "the bitch is dead". Grizzly says "ding dong, the bitch is dead".
:axe:
Oh that was it. Thank for checking Smile
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46189] Sat, 19 June 2004 16:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hoplite
Messages:4
Registered:November 2003
Location: WA, USA (originally Nethe...
Hitman, when severely outnumbered: "My nuts are in a vise, ace!"
It's such a... vivid image.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46190] Sun, 20 June 2004 13:48 Go to previous messageGo to previous message
Lt.CheeseDoodle
Messages:3
Registered:June 2004
Location: Richmond VA
I love these phrases
1st Razor: (when theres a lot of bullets flying around) These turkeys getting feisty, GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!!
2nd Razor: Why does everone think im psychotic. Im not psychotic, i just have a passion for my job.
3rd Razor: (after almost getting hit) Should of finished the job cause now your gonna die. (its humorous because he never kills anyone after saying that)
4th IMP voice #3: (after seeing head pop) Jesus now that blows my mind..... Guess that makes two of us.
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