Home » SIRTECH CLASSICS » Jagged Alliance 2 » Favourite Mercs & NPCs » Funniest Quotes ?
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #132913] Fri, 16 March 2007 17:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
DudeWheresMyTank

 
Messages:51
Registered:August 2006
Location: Canada
Pablo:

"Yeah, I got something for you. It was friggin' heavy too. I almost pulled my back! Heh, are you moving down here or something?"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #138273] Thu, 10 May 2007 11:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
BasiC_101

 
Messages:27
Registered:September 2006
Location: South Africa

Mad dog "Ugh... got brains in my mouth... Say SWEET!"
Hamous - after seeing a Cat - "DOG!" Piss my self every time he says that.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #147352] Fri, 29 June 2007 18:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
w0dka

 
Messages:15
Registered:June 2007
Mhm? Devin? Slay? how the holy moly you can hire them?
I want Slay... like him. And Devin to.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #147356] Fri, 29 June 2007 19:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
foij

 
Messages:229
Registered:February 2007
Location: in a van, down by the riv...
You can hire devin after taking 3 towns. You will need a decent leadership merc to talk to him, if I remember. Be warned, his marks starts off pretty low (but his exp skill is at 99).

You can hire Slay, but there are drawbacks. If you hire Slay, Carmen won't deal with you afterwards. To hire Slay, you'll have to have met Carmen first. Then talk to Slay, threaten him (he'll get out of his wheelchair), then shoot him (preferably with a small gun). He'll ask for medical help, bandage him. Talk to him a bit more, then give him the disk that Carmen gave you. He'll join you for 1 week. Afterwards, he'll leave forever (taking your equipment with him if he's still carrying it). There is a patch somewhere (you can search these boards) that will allow you to hire Slay forever though. Slay has some pretty good stats.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #147381] Fri, 29 June 2007 22:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
w0dka

 
Messages:15
Registered:June 2007
sorry for hijacking this thread... but this patch.. is it compatible to 1.13?
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #147384] Fri, 29 June 2007 23:02 Go to previous messageGo to next message
foij

 
Messages:229
Registered:February 2007
Location: in a van, down by the riv...
http://www.ja-galaxy-forum.com/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Board=35&Number=138374&Searchpage=1&Main=11011&Words=hire+slay&topic=0&Search=true#Post138374

I dunno if the patch is 1.13 compatible, but I think it is.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #149698] Tue, 17 July 2007 16:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Reijen

 
Messages:23
Registered:July 2007
You should try DR. Clifford Highball, and Raider. Raider makes a really cool comment when you click on him with the lips thing:
"It's like they picked every screwed-up mercenary in the business, and then added me so they had a competent guy"

AHHAHAHAHHA!! We can see Raider's personality right there... altough I'm not so sure about the sentence last part. Wink
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #172373] Tue, 22 January 2008 02:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Burzmali

 
Messages:241
Registered:March 2007
Location: Estonia
Just when I thought I know all those old jokes... Could be specifically UC
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #172460] Tue, 22 January 2008 16:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Caboclo

 
Messages:31
Registered:December 2007
Location: Brazil
"Damn guns! A knife never runs out of ammo!"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #177832] Sun, 09 March 2008 21:34 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hairysteed

 
Messages:193
Registered:December 2007
Location: Finland
Male IMP #3 "Pussy!" Very Happy

The Deidranna's last words also cracked me up! Very Happy
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #180201] Sat, 05 April 2008 04:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Kaerius

 
Messages:31
Registered:March 2008
I'm surprised this one hasn't made it into the thread yet:

"Typical, why do I always have discharge problems?" - Fox when her gun jams.

Incidentally, I recognized Scully's voice, the same voice actor also does one of the voices in Silent Storm(also a good game, and with generally funnier quotes, for example: "It's a shame mounting them would be in such bad taste" - Viper(american sniper), after killing an enemy).

A thought... what happens if you have hitman and buzz in the same team? The womanizer and the man-hater... seems like a good setup for some quotes.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #180414] Mon, 07 April 2008 18:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
sandrock

 
Messages:9
Registered:February 2003
Location: Tennessee, USA
A good one from Barry when you first enter a heavily-occupied sector:

"My bowels are clenching for no apparent reason"

lol
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #180525] Tue, 08 April 2008 14:53 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Balious

 
Messages:43
Registered:April 2007
Location: England!
guys a question. whats so funny about the kickass karma line?

wolf: gotta love it.
i love that line
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #180533] Tue, 08 April 2008 15:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
DoomPig

 
Messages:16
Registered:March 2008
I like voiceset n
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #180622] Wed, 09 April 2008 18:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
moki

 
Messages:56
Registered:July 2007
Location: Wismar, Germany
"I need foxhole" - Igor, with Fox standing right beside him... Surprised
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #180858] Fri, 11 April 2008 13:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Kaerius

 
Messages:31
Registered:March 2008
Oh and another awesome quote from Ice, when he's wounded and taking fire:

"I don't know what smithereens is, but I'm about to be blown to 'em."
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #181271] Mon, 14 April 2008 00:19 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Shoelip
Messages:1
Registered:April 2008
Hi, I just got this JA2 on Steam as part of the strategy first complete pack they were hocking the other week. Then I decided to buy it again from strategy first's website when I found out how screwed up the Steam version was. I even had a bug that reset the area and removed all items and corpses whenever I loaded a saved game or just went to a new area and came back. Well it's all fixed now.

Anyway, my favorite quote is my sig, but all the quotes from the beginning of UB with IMP Female 3 are pretty good two.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #181296] Mon, 14 April 2008 04:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Spinx

 
Messages:37
Registered:February 2007
Location: Washington state
Gasket: Why is everyone always shooting at me??
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #188898] Tue, 17 June 2008 03:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
KoTT

 
Messages:50
Registered:May 2008
Location: Cali

Maddog: **cant hit target** "Personally, I'll shoot at anything... just dont expect me to hit it."
**Under fire** "Ahahahaha, morons!"
**out of breath** "Next time I kill somebody, I'll take their lungs!"
**Takes somebody's head off** "Woah! got brain in my mouth! say, uhhh... sweet!"
**Out of ammo** "I hate dis! More bullets!"
**Sees a cat** "Carpet!"

Hamous: **kill** "Die, naughty man!"
**sees a cat** "Dog!"

Gasket: **hostile sector** "Found some bad guys. Well, I didnt really find them. Just know they are in the neighborhood."
**Sees a crowd of enemies** "I think I pissed my pants!"
**Bleeding** "Im bleeding. I mean, like, bad. Like the time I bit my ankle? ahhh, its a long story."

Fox: **good pick up** "Now this was worth bending over for."

Fidel: **after a kill** (Middle Eastern accent) "Get shovel!"

Ivan: **weapon jam** (In Russian) "Did you buy this from the old Russian army?"
**good pick up** (In Russian) "If I dont tell anybody else, I should be able to keep it..."

[Updated on: Tue, 17 June 2008 03:38] by Moderator

Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #194327] Mon, 18 August 2008 15:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Yoni

 
Messages:10
Registered:August 2008
Conrad: "Anyone with half a brain would not attempt this shot."
Buns spotting an enemy: "Ah, we have been joined." It's funny because of the way she says it, she's so calm and polite.

I also love the bad English quotes:
Carlos: "Armies of enemies show their face!"
Dimitri: "Soldiers be here!" and "It is enemy. We must attack."

Also this one from Igor: "I do not like sound of... Whatever this sound was."

And the custom merc, with one of the voices he has some nice quotes when fighting the bugs, he always calls them "these purple people eaters".

Voice 3 I think, when finding an item: "Bingo! It's just like Christmas".

Barry, after drinking a whole bottle of wine: "This organization is phoony."
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #195111] Thu, 28 August 2008 14:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
HeroForHire

 
Messages:23
Registered:August 2008
"Turkeys" -Razor upon spotting an enemy.

Well pretty much every line Razor, Haywire and Fidel got in store is great and cracks me up over and over again.

Btw. just had to hire Gasket because Steroid had to see the pope in his hometown (lol). Gasket is fucking funny, too xD

[Updated on: Thu, 28 August 2008 14:13] by Moderator

Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #195115] Thu, 28 August 2008 14:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Blue_Fox

 
Messages:588
Registered:September 2006
Location: Netherlands
Gasket Very Happy
"Why they always shooting at me"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #196773] Sat, 20 September 2008 14:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Yoni

 
Messages:10
Registered:August 2008
During an intensive attack on Orta, at some point the game switched to real time.
Ira: "I'm hit!"
Conrad: "Me too. But I am more important."
Maddog: "Me first!"

It was damn funny. Sounded like a kinder garden.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #196831] Sun, 21 September 2008 09:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
HeroForHire

 
Messages:23
Registered:August 2008
You know dey will never find Hurl de crybaby Cutter.
I feed him to my dog.
He make dog sick, too.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #196838] Sun, 21 September 2008 10:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Headrock

 
Messages:1781
Registered:March 2006
Location: Jerusalem
Ivan, on seeing a rotting corpse:
(in Russian, matter-of-fact voice):"This is why my uncle turned into an alcoholic".


Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #196889] Mon, 22 September 2008 05:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
FelixDrake

 
Messages:33
Registered:September 2008
From memory, some may be a bit off, but some I didn't see:
Razor:"thanksgiving. Time to carve up some turkeys!"
Speck:re:razor:"He carved the turkey ... and parts of the table ..."(death speech)
Igor:"Grunty shoots well enough to be a Dolvich" (after grunty makes a hard shot)
Barry:"we have reached simultaneous agreement"
"there is hope for me yet". "there is trap here. Perhaps I get to work, no?"
(perhaps I am overly attached to these two because they mean I don't have to pay for Trevor Colby)
Malice:(everything, but including)"How much underwear I pack?"(choosing time frame)
Dr.Q:(most of the bad kung fu movie script, incl.)"A lion is now in our path"
Shadow:"Ya, ok, we'll see how well we work together. You don't like my style, I don't like yours, we shake hands when the contract's over and call it a wash" was up there with reaper's burn the paperwork hiring speech.
... and MANY that have already been listed, sometimes multiple times... and more which do not come to mind at this instant.
As for whether there is more than 7 pages of funny merc quotes ...
"It's like christmas" (voice3 male)

Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #197151] Wed, 24 September 2008 12:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Yoni

 
Messages:10
Registered:August 2008
Just noticed yesterday, when you meet Manuel in UB and you keep talking to him he eventually says
"I eat so many fish over years that I do not think I can drown."
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #197880] Wed, 01 October 2008 23:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
KoTT

 
Messages:50
Registered:May 2008
Location: Cali

Headrock
Ivan, on seeing a rotting corpse:
(in Russian, matter-of-fact voice):"This is why my uncle turned into an alcoholic".


its "this is why my nephew is an alcoholic", actually Smile

...I think.

I also like the one by Cougar: "This wound is badly in need of dressing. And I'd like an aspirin, too." or something like that. and then Numb. Just cause of his character and accent.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #197921] Thu, 02 October 2008 14:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
royce

 
Messages:8
Registered:July 2008
Location: green earth
Steroid

"Umm .... The hair on my neck is upstanding."
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #198077] Sat, 04 October 2008 17:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Agnostik

 
Messages:49
Registered:October 2008
Location: St. Petersburg, Russia
Devin after killing an enemy: "You're welcome!" No funny by itself, but the way he's saying it.

Larry arriving in a sector: "I'm here, man... Uh, I mean sir."

Static refusing a job when Larry's in the squad: "I can't work with Larry, man. He tried to teach me 12 steps to cleanliness (*not sure about the word). It's pathetic, and annoying!"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #198804] Fri, 10 October 2008 15:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Rouger

 
Messages:19
Registered:April 2008
Location: Sweden
Barry under heavy fire
"They are trying to kill me but i am proffesional"
probably misspelled, probably the best comment in the game
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #199085] Tue, 14 October 2008 04:49 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Agnostik

 
Messages:49
Registered:October 2008
Location: St. Petersburg, Russia
Thought I heard them all, but just today laughed my ass off when Red refused to work for me because of my "casualty rate" (not verbatim): "Yeah, I'll work for you, and the next thing I know, I'll wake up dead!"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #199344] Fri, 17 October 2008 17:28 Go to previous messageGo to next message
funk

 
Messages:44
Registered:March 2008
Fidel: i hear bang ,befor
Dynamo steps on a mine.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #199363] Fri, 17 October 2008 20:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
KoTT

 
Messages:50
Registered:May 2008
Location: Cali

Kaerius

Incidentally, I recognized Scully's voice, the same voice actor also does one of the voices in Silent Storm(also a good game, and with generally funnier quotes, for example: "It's a shame mounting them would be in such bad taste" - Viper(american sniper), after killing an enemy).


yeah, Silent Storm has some good stuff. My favorite one so far, I think, is one of the German guys (for his accent mostly) "Im officially wounded..."
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #199370] Fri, 17 October 2008 22:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
systemfehler

 
Messages:114
Registered:September 2007
Location: Hanover, Germany
Meltdown notices two blackshirt girls run out of a house and into the light: "Pussies!"
Right on the spot.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #200155] Mon, 27 October 2008 14:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
FelixDrake

 
Messages:33
Registered:September 2008
Agnostik
I don't know how a deadline looks like - I've never met one before

Deadline:alternate definition. A tripwire connected to some really powerful explosives. Cross one of those and you'll know why it's a deadline.

but on the subject of quotes:
I do not like sound of, whatever that sound was.
I hear rustling. Might be rustlers. (or just ANYTHING Tex says)
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #200265] Tue, 28 October 2008 20:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
finnpalm

 
Messages:84
Registered:October 2008
Location: Sweden
Meltdown:

"Hey attentionspan!"

Recently made her my favourite mercenary.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #202785] Sat, 29 November 2008 23:38 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Taro_M

 
Messages:297
Registered:November 2008
This also is good:

IMP male no 2 IIRC, when he sees bug for the first time:

"Thats one badass piece of sushi!"
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #252703] Mon, 31 May 2010 12:48 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Sampzon

 
Messages:46
Registered:May 2010
Location: Hungary

BUDAPEST!
Barry Ungarn see Bloodcats.
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #252704] Mon, 31 May 2010 13:37 Go to previous messageGo to previous message
fallschirmjager

 
Messages:42
Registered:June 2005
Location: Darwin, Australia

Rude Dog from Urban Chaos was so well done;

"I really miss going down by the elementary school to watch the kids yell and run. You know, 'cause they don't know the gun is loaded with blanks."

When you'd come across a dead body and he'd go, "Yummy, just like mum used to make."


In all honesty in all my playthroughs of JA2 I've almost always used the same team;

IMP Male Voice 2, Ivan, Igor, Trevor, Iggy and Conrad as my combat squad with a few extras to train the militia. There have been some odd characters hired now and then towards the end game to get some more guns into the Capital to take over the palace but on the whole it's usually the same six blokes.

But I see just reading a few pages here that I've REALLY missed out on some great characters.

I've just started a new game with v1.13 for the first time and I've enlisted a couple of different characters - I've still got Ivan though, he's been with me since Metavira!




Previous Topic: What's your IMP's name?
Next Topic: Merc Relationships? (non romance)
Goto Forum:
  


Current Time: Sun Oct 21 20:19:00 EEST 2018

Total time taken to generate the page: 0.02204 seconds