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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46071] Fri, 24 January 2003 05:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Uzi is currently offline Uzi

 
Messages:69
Registered:March 2000
Location: Helsinki, Finland
 "Hah! Fidel, Fidel, Fidel...! I bet You You were gonna get killed before me, and You did! Pay up! Where's my $200? C'mon, pay up, man! Fidel? Hey, wait a minute... You gypped me! Aw man, I shoulda died first!"

I just got a funny moment with Haywire's death. Razor goes the regular:

"Haywire! Get up, You @$$hole! I seen You get hurt worse than that and walk away... Okay, anything for a joke, that's You."

The problem? Haywire got head popped by a 7.62N round... I'd really like to see him get hurt worse than that and walk away! I suppose I should try to get Haywire blown to little bits by explosives... Very Happy

Uzi

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46072] Sun, 26 January 2003 02:20 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Maniac2 is currently offline Maniac2

 
Messages:21
Registered:January 2002
Location: Juiz de Fora, MG, Brazil
 :wave: Thanks UZI!!!

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46073] Sun, 26 January 2003 07:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Snicker is currently offline Snicker

 
Messages:71
Registered:November 2002
Location: Canada
 Gasket: Why is everyone always shootin' at me?

Gasket: I hate that commie Igor. I would have killed him already if he didn't have kickass vodka.

I also like Grizzy's little email. He meant it when he says he doesn't like computers...

Oh, and Shank's quote when he meets someone he doesn't like (General, Pablo). It suprised me, actually, given his attitude most of the time.

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46074] Sat, 01 February 2003 09:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
redback is currently offline redback
Messages:2
Registered:July 2002
Location: australia
 I thought this was quite funny what igor says when he finds a hidden mine in the ground

Igor: "Whoa... I do not like what i see on ground and i not talk about dog droppings" :biglaugh:

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46075] Sun, 02 February 2003 07:38 Go to previous messageGo to next message
plop is currently offline plop

 
Messages:43
Registered:December 2000
Location: Louisiana
 Fidel - "When I die I come back as big black bird that pick at bodies. I go from war to war just picking at bodies. Dis be good life, no?"

Wolf to Doreen - "Now you're just like your sex life. Cold, dead, and lying in the bed you made."

Steroid - "My skin is punctured and leaking!"

Grizzly to bugs "Who invited my mother in law!" and "Great, more of my relatives."

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Corporal
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46076] Sun, 09 February 2003 04:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Daimon is currently offline Daimon
Messages:2
Registered:February 2003
Location: Finland
 "I saw its eyes as it died. She had her father's eyes, the eyes of Satan. I will never be the same."
-Reaper, after finishing off the Bug Queen.

Gave me a psychotic smile and some evil laughter. I still have hard time holding back my laughing when I remember some of those quotes from JA2. :devilglasses:

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46077] Sat, 22 February 2003 05:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Nanji is currently offline Nanji
Messages:1
Registered:February 2003
Location: Poland
 All Igor's quotes about vodka are fun.

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Civilian
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46078] Sat, 08 March 2003 13:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Wesforce is currently offline Wesforce
Messages:1
Registered:March 2003
Location: UK
 Fidel: "I tired. Need to dream. Dream... Of KEELLING!"

Red at bugs: "Its like a giant walking Haggis!"

Igor at Joey: "Look, it is that disrespectful Boy!" (He sounds like someone's grandad)

Haywire at Joey: "Heyyy! It's Joey-boy! Lets whack him in the head with a broom-handle like my Grandma used to!"

Steroid's E-mail: "I glad to servuce you. Cum to site and click on face" (something like that... Had tons of spelling mistakes...)

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46079] Wed, 26 March 2003 01:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hold Brillan is currently offline Hold Brillan
Messages:4
Registered:November 2002
Location: Lefsevik
 Couldn't see anyone mention Betty Fung:
"No shooting in store! I put up sign. You come back when craziness stop, store policy!"

or when you threaten her:
"Your mother no learn you talk properly, you show no respect for the elderly! Must show respecte for the elderly, store policy!"

Otherwise I think the all time high is when Haywire says something to Razor like:
"Can't think of a better job, shooting people and getting paid for it"

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Civilian
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46080] Fri, 25 April 2003 11:20 Go to previous messageGo to next message
jeremiah is currently offline jeremiah

 
Messages:26
Registered:April 2003
Location: Canada
 So far I liked Grunty's reply when you give him good equipment. "I am elated. Perhaps it should be gift wrapped."
That really grateful tone gives me warm good feelings.

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46081] Mon, 28 April 2003 10:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
dongsang is currently offline dongsang
Messages:3
Registered:April 2003
Shawdow (after seeing a bug): What I need is a 50-foot can of something really bad for the environment.

Trevor (after seeing a bug): Holey Dooly, never seen on of them before. (Something about the way he says it)

Wolf (after killing Mike): I gotta get AIM to but that on my bio.

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Civilian
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46082] Mon, 28 April 2003 22:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Sgt. Skeptic is currently offline Sgt. Skeptic

 
Messages:26
Registered:April 2003
Location: Tacoma, WA
 I cannot remmeber the whole thing but after Buzz kills Doreen(the factory owner/child slave laborer):

"Lynx must have done her.That would explain the bitterness, resentment...(something else)"

Gasket(randomly after being given an order to go do something.He will stop in his tracks and say this):"Ya' know this reminds me of ...somethin'...well, er...I forgot."

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46083] Thu, 01 May 2003 14:44 Go to previous messageGo to next message
GreenStain9396 is currently offline GreenStain9396

 
Messages:14
Registered:April 2003
Location: Texas, Guess where
 Hah. This's gotta be the funniest thread in this forum. I just can't help laughing every time I read these quotes. So damn funny Very Happy Leaves me wondering what kind of ppl with crazy sense of humor did this, hehe

Personal Favorite (already mentioned by someone)

"DOG!"

(Hamous, when he sees Bloodcats >meow<. Don't know how to explain, it's so stupid that it's actually funny :biglaugh: )

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46084] Thu, 01 May 2003 21:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Dog Soldier is currently offline Dog Soldier
Messages:2
Registered:May 2003
Location: UK
 The remark Buns makes when you hire Fox always makes me laugh:

"You vant ze sizzle but not ze steak!"

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46085] Mon, 05 May 2003 00:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
dzeller is currently offline dzeller

 
Messages:87
Registered:February 2003
Location: USA
 Danny, when there is a head explosion:
it's somethin like "It reminds me of the story of the man who was crying because he has no hat and then he was crying because he has no head"
i was on the ground!!!!!!!!!! Very Happy so funny! he said it in a very calm way, without any emotion in his voice...danny, danny, danny u should be ashamed :nono: Wink

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46086] Tue, 06 May 2003 07:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Sarge50 is currently offline Sarge50
Messages:1
Registered:April 2003
Location: Ontario
 Ok Ok, listen to this:

I was fighting in Grumm mine with my squad which included Fox. She got hit and dropped her Steyr Aug. I made her pick it up and she said -
"Whew, too much! Now this was worth bending over for!"

HAHAHAHAHA! What a slut! I love it! :cheers:

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Civilian
Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46087] Tue, 06 May 2003 08:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
braincleaner is currently offline braincleaner

 
Messages:11
Registered:May 2003
Location: London, UK
 razors turn based to real time combat comment..can't remember it, but it's pure evil.. :transform:

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46088] Tue, 06 May 2003 08:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
jeremiah is currently offline jeremiah

 
Messages:26
Registered:April 2003
Location: Canada
 Quote:
Originally posted by Brain Cleaner:
razors turn based to real time combat comment..can't remember it, but it's pure evil.. :transform:
I think it was along the lines of "That's it? That was quick."

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46089] Tue, 06 May 2003 08:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
braincleaner is currently offline braincleaner

 
Messages:11
Registered:May 2003
Location: London, UK
 Quote:
Originally posted by jeremiah:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brain Cleaner:
razors turn based to real time combat comment..can't remember it, but it's pure evil.. :transform:
I think it was along the lines of "That's it? That was quick."
no,it'ssomething about seaking themall out and splitting their throats open

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46090] Tue, 06 May 2003 12:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
jeremiah is currently offline jeremiah

 
Messages:26
Registered:April 2003
Location: Canada
 Oh you mean if there are still enemies about.

" I say we hunt them down and slit their throats. I hate leaving loose ends." to that effect.

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46091] Tue, 06 May 2003 16:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
jeremiah is currently offline jeremiah

 
Messages:26
Registered:April 2003
Location: Canada
 Just got this from Haywire when stalking bloodcats in the lair to increase agility. Everyone else already had their turn, 100 agility woohoo.

When he saw 3 bloodcats, his quote was "I want to retreat." I bust a gut laughing.

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46092] Tue, 06 May 2003 17:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JURAJURA is currently offline JURAJURA

 
Messages:64
Registered:March 2002
Location: GODING - MORAVIA - Heart ...
 RR is The Man! :cheers:

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46093] Tue, 06 May 2003 17:56 Go to previous messageGo to next message
LordDario is currently offline LordDario

 
Messages:96
Registered:June 2001
Location: Washington, DC
 Magic, when he sees multiple enemies:

"This is when I'm at my best!"

Or Grunty, when hes hurt:

"No need to be alarmed, but parts of me are bleeding."

Spider when she is in the mines when you go to get the bugs. She is truly terrified Smile

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46094] Sun, 18 May 2003 20:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Nutter is currently offline Nutter

 
Messages:20
Registered:August 2002
Location: New Zealand
 when igor sees crepitus...

"holy lucky strike! that look like worm at bottom of tequila bottle! i would not like to see bottle!"

stopped laughing 2 hours later

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46095] Sun, 18 May 2003 22:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
jeremiah is currently offline jeremiah

 
Messages:26
Registered:April 2003
Location: Canada
 Two more quotes I found amusing,

Grunty when under heavy fire, "They are going ballistic on me!"

Haywire after clearing out an enemy patrol,
"Nothing left to do but plan the funerals or call in the vultures. Ha ha." A bit creepy.

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46096] Thu, 22 May 2003 14:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
maddog_1212 is currently offline maddog_1212
Messages:4
Registered:March 2003
Location: NSW, Australia
 Imp male #1. when you pop a head
"Talk about loosing face" :biglaugh:

Stogie in UB when you hire Biff and Biff gets a kill.
"That kid makes me piss myself"

Gasket when a gun breaks. he says something like
"This was made in Russia wasn't it" havent't used him in ages so i may be a little off.

Fox when she sees a blodcat.
"I see one, i think fireplace"

Grizzly when he gets a head pop.
"Thats gotta hurt, then again maybe not"

Shadow when he sees crepitus bugs.
"What i need is a 50 foot can of something really bad for the environment!" :bluegrin:

There are heaps more but i can't remember them all
:cheers:

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46097] Sat, 24 May 2003 23:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
braincleaner is currently offline braincleaner

 
Messages:11
Registered:May 2003
Location: London, UK
 bubbas quotes rule:

"okie...d.d..d.d.d.dokie!" this is funny when moving an entire squad you get the normal "ok..roger...10-4" commets then just as everyone else shuts up you get this "..d.d.dokie!"

wounded: "bubbas gots bubbas blood on him..BUBBAS BLOOD!"

badly hurt:"i'm coming home momma..."

and gaskets close to death quote cracked me up

"it..like when i.. fixed my..dad..wood chippin' machine..oh..god.." or something like that (and no i don't mean the grans head chopper thing)

the worst quote come from flo..when under fire "they have alarmed my fear. i am teriffied of death!" even though i had her lv 4 with 82 mrk great med & mec AND exp..i had to ditch her..i need fearless bad asses on my team.. :viking: like vikings!

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46098] Sat, 31 May 2003 17:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
David99976 is currently offline David99976
Messages:3
Registered:May 2003
When Hans says "I used to have the don't-pay-a-cent-event, but the first 5 customers were shot dead before they paid a cent."

BTW, who is Betty? Did I miss a store? I don't remember any old asian women...

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46099] Sat, 31 May 2003 18:28 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ConFusion is currently offline ConFusion

 
Messages:31
Registered:April 2003
Location: The Netherlands, Europe
 Quote:
Originally posted by David:
BTW, who is Betty? Did I miss a store? I don't remember any old asian women...
UB :ok:

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46100] Sat, 31 May 2003 18:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
David99976 is currently offline David99976
Messages:3
Registered:May 2003
ConFusion,

Duuuhhh! I should have known. I'm just starting to play unfinished business myself.

Thanks!

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46101] Sun, 01 June 2003 23:31 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Phantom is currently offline Phantom

 
Messages:66
Registered:November 2001
Location: behind you ...
 Yeh, Betty:

"No! No! No! This not Amewican convenience store! I no sell or buy gun here!"

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46102] Mon, 02 June 2003 19:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
David99976 is currently offline David99976
Messages:3
Registered:May 2003
I am playing UB for the first time. Betty just said to me, "You want bag for that porno?"

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46103] Tue, 03 June 2003 02:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
p51b10na is currently offline p51b10na
Messages:2
Registered:November 2001
Razor, after stepping on a mine in the Cambria University area:

'Now I finally get to see my own innards. Too bad that I can't see them more clearly.'

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46104] Tue, 03 June 2003 07:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
n00b is currently offline n00b
Messages:1
Registered:January 2003
Location: Bonn, Germany
 Magic:
Someone shots at him but misses: "Your ass is on my platter."
Seeing a BG it's simply: "Dead man." Usually he's right. Very Happy

Hans when attacked by merc: "You twisted SCHNOOK!!!"

Btw, what's a "schnook"?

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46105] Tue, 10 June 2003 06:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
SprudL is currently offline SprudL
Messages:1
Registered:June 2003
Location: Belgium
 Strolling through the bloodcat lair can be funny.

Dimitri spots one: "Ohhh... bloodcat.". Followed by "Most colorful". After which the bloodcat ran towards him and turned his shirt into a colorful red.

Grunty: "Good pussy, ja"

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46106] Tue, 10 June 2003 07:31 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Icarus is currently offline Icarus
Messages:2
Registered:June 2003
Location: Singapore
 http://genji.image.pbase.com/u29/meth/upload/17643289.Rotinpeace.JPG

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46107] Wed, 11 June 2003 01:28 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Blackraven is currently offline Blackraven

 
Messages:5
Registered:June 2003
Location: Texas, USA
 When Grunty sees one of the bugs for the first time: "Aww, isn't he cuddly? I wonder if they can be domesticated. Probably not."

when he sees more: "Look, another cuddly creature!"

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46108] Wed, 11 June 2003 02:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
jeremiah is currently offline jeremiah

 
Messages:26
Registered:April 2003
Location: Canada
 Quote:
Originally posted by BRaven:
When Grunty sees one of the bugs for the first time: "Aww, isn't he cuddly? I wonder if they can be domesticated. Probably not."

when he sees more: "Look, another cuddly creature!"
Don't forget to add his (not exact quote, I am paraphrasing) "Maybe we should come back when we have items better able to deal with them like a leash and muzzle. And perhaps something for them to chew on." Cracked me up.

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46109] Wed, 11 June 2003 02:28 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Icarus is currently offline Icarus
Messages:2
Registered:June 2003
Location: Singapore
 damn...the pic couldnt be hotlinked..anyway that was a quote from conrad when Iggy got blasted to hell by a tank in meduna "Iggy you were a valiant servant, rot in peace."

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Re: Funniest Quotes ?[message #46110] Sun, 15 June 2003 09:15 Go to previous messageGo to previous message
CptCrunch is currently offline CptCrunch

 
Messages:36
Registered:June 2003
Location: Brookline, MA
 Let's see ..

Ivan when attacking or defending a sector
"Enemy force ... located locally"
I almost had a hernia laughing so hard

Danny seeing a head explode
I think it goes something like "Reminds me of a story about a man who is crying becuase he had no hat .. until he met a head who had no head ... I don't know, just seem appropriate"

Then there is Barry being interviewed after whoring ... "Women should always be treated respectfully even in places like this"

All of Fox's quotes ... no matter what she says there is a sexual connotation to it

IMP exploding a head
"Jesus that just blows my mind ... I guess that makes both of us."

Grizzly seeing a head explode
"That's gotta hurt ... then again, maybe not."

MD saying to Grizzly, Wolf, Steroid and Magic
"These macho freaks were amusing for like the first ten minutes"

Red seeing a decaying corpse
"That's the most disgusting thing I have seen since my last English pub meal"

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